Commandments of Dump Trucking
1. Thou shalt not dump while on unlevel ground, for surely one day the
load will hang up on the low side and thy trailer will fall down
beside thee. Great oaths and sworn statements as to how many times
thou hast dumped in worse places will be to no purpose for thy
insurance company will forsake thee and thy future employment
prospects will be much in doubt.
2. Thou shalt line up thy tractor with thy trailer before dumping lest
thou be branded as an idiot who tries to dump while jack-knifed and condemned
to an eternity of changing tires.
3. Thou shalt be sure that the P.T.O. and pump are not engaged while
traveling upon the highways. The view of twelve miles of power and
telephone cable draped gracefully around thy hoist is not pleasing to
the responsible authorities and the sight of thy trailer body resting
ever so gently against the top of a bridge can stir them to such great
anger that thou are compelled to dwell in their municipal motel for
many days and nights and to be deprived of feminine companionship,
strong drink and Monday night football all during that time.
4. Thou shalt not permit another rig to dump while alongside thine, to
the left n or to the right, lest the operator be lacking in skill and
upset his trailer on top of thine. The humor of such an occurance may
elicit smiles and boisterous laughter from thy companions but will not
be apparent to thy employer and shoud only be reported to him after
determining that in neither hand does he hold a tire billy or other
5. Thou shalt be certain that hydraulic hoses are in good condition at
all times lest a worn hose blow out when thou tryest to dump a 60,000
lb. Load, 30 miles from town in 15 degree weather and thou findest it
necessary to unload it with a shovel 10 lbs. at a time.
6. Thou shalt replace broken or weak springs in matched pairs if. To
upset a loose load because of one bad spring while dumping on a level
concrete pad is an embarrassment which will follow thee all the days
of thy life.
7. Thou shalt not allow rocks or any other commodity to spill from thy
vehicle lest they bash in the windshield of the Smokey following
behind thee. A calamity of that nature may cause thee to be considered
a hazard to the motoring public and unfit to wear double clutching
boots, chaindrive wallets or other emblems of they profession.
8. Thou shalt not permit bulldozers or loaders to make any contact
with thy vehicle, neither from the front nor from the rear, nor from
either side, for the appearance of thy vehicle will be much worse
after such contact and the rascal at the repair shop will demand cash
in large quantity to correct the damage.
9. Thy tires shall be checked for adequate pressure daily and whacked
with a tire billy every thime thou stoppest, lest thy first knowledge
of a flat is when thy C.B. comes to life with “Break, Break for Dum
Dum Dump, Thou Art On Fire.”
10. Thou shalt become wise in the nature of the commodities thou
haulest. Such as: that iif a load of lime is allowed to get wet it
becomes a gummy gelatin and will stay in thy trailer forever, although
a wet load of coal will present thee no problems, except when it is
very cold, when it freezes so forlid as a rock. In that way, thou
shalt prevent many unpleasant surprises.
Blessed are the careful and wise for thy generally remain employed.